David Jandrell is a local writer, historian and geologist. He has published several humorous books, which explains why when he attempted to write a history of Twmbarlwm he got taken by a flight of fancy. Here’s his very own theory on the origins of the Twmp…

Cartimandua lived on Mynydd Medart with her husband Vercingetarix and her two sons Vercassivelaunix and Bernard.
Cartimandua was a proud Iron-Age lady who hunted for food, prepared the food, cooked it, served it up to her family, washed up, cleaned the roundhouse, washed her family’s clothes and nagged Vercingetarix, Vercassivelaunix and Bernard.
Vercingetarix, Vercassivelaunix and Bernard involved themselves in the more macho activities such as throwing stones and … well, mainly just throwing stones.
One day, Cartimandua was down by the Ebbw River doing the laundry and a very refined lady walked by.
She greeted the lady and they began chatting. The lady told Cartimandua that she was called Arianwen and she was the ruler of Mynydd Medart..
“What does that mean?”, asked Cartimandua as she slapped one of Vercingetarix’s socks on a flat stone in the river.
“I rule the mountain.”
“What, you are in charge of me, like?”
“No no, I’m not ruler of the people, animals, plants, anything like that. Just the mountain itself.”
“So basically you don’t do anything then.”
“I don’t do anything per se, but it’s a high profile, high status title that I get for doing nothing.”
“I really fancy that. How did you get into it?”
“Well I did some research and found out that Mynydd Medart didn’t have a ruler so I claimed the title for myself.”
“So if I can find a mountain that doesn’t have a ruler I can do the same.”
“Well yes, but don’t take on anything too big to start. Why not rule a smaller mountain to start off, a sort of practice mountain if you like and when you are confident, go for a big ‘un.”
“Any small mountains around?
“Why not build one here?”
“Could I?”
“As ruler of this mountain I hereby give you permission to build a practice mountain by here to start you off.”
And so, when Vercingetarix, Vercassivelaunix and Bernard.got home from a hard day’s stone throwing, Cartimandua gave them the task of building her practice mountain, she told them it would be called a twmp.
As an incentive she told Vercingetarix, Vercassivelaunix and Bernard that they would not get vole (their favourite meal) until the twmp was built.
So Vercingetarix, Vercassivelaunix and Bernard set about the task. They didn’t have shovels so they used the tools of the day – cupped hands.
Three years later, the job was done – the twmp was finished. Cartimandua loved it more than words could describe. In fact there weren’t any words in the Iron-Age vocabulary that could adequately express how she felt about it.
She ruled the twmp for three weeks and realised that ‘twmp ruling’ was really very easy. She decided to take the plunge and go straight in for a big ‘un. But where?
She looked across the valley and spotted Twm Barlwm. “I wonder if Twm Barlwm has a ruler”, she thought – and without further ado strode across the valley towards Twm Barlwm.
When she arrived at Twm Barlwm she met a man who was ….. throwing stones.
“Good morning, I am Cartimandua and I live over Mynydd Medart.”
The man, put down his stones and replied;
“I am Dubnovellanus and I live here.”
“Tell me Dubnovellanus, does Twm Barlwm have a ruler?”
“Aye me.”
“Only I was looking for a mountain to rule. I’ll have a look around and see if there are any others available without rulers then?”
“Why?”
“Because I want to rule a mountain.”
“You can have this ‘un if you like. I’m thinking of giving it up. Find it difficult to fit everything in. Know what I mean?”
“When are you giving up?”
“As soon as you want to start, but first, what experience do you have?”
“Well I built and ruled that twmp over by there – can you see it? It’s on Mynydd Medart, down in the dip a bit!”
“Hmmm, that’s a lovely twmp. I always fancied a twmp. Fancy building me one?”
“Well I could do.”
“Tell you what, build a twmp on the top of Twm Barlwm, it’s a bit bare as you can see and you can take over once it’s done. Fancy it?”
“I’ll get my boys onto it rightaway!”
“Er .. just one thing Cartimandua I’m not having any earth taken from Twm Barlwm to build it. You’re going to have to provide all the stuff yourself.”
“I’ll just move the original twmp from Mynydd Medart and fetch it over here.”
“Sounds good.”
“I’ll get onto it. Bye.”
So Cartimandua spoke to Vercingetarix, Vercassivelaunix and Bernard and put it to them. They agreed after a lot of huffing and puffing and the threat of no vole until the twmp was moved.
They toiled away day and night. They painstakingly removed earth from the twmp and using only their cupped hands, walked across the valley, up to the top of Twm Barlwm where they ‘tipped their load’ and went back to Mynydd Medart for the next.
Twelve years later, the new twmp was finished and Cartimandua and Dubnovellanus were there to witness the deposition of the last handful of muck and to perform the ‘handing over’ ceremony.
When complete, Cartimandua stood back and admired her very own mountain and twmp. She looked very happy and Vercingetarix asked her what she thought of it.
Cartimandua looked again at the new twmp, glanced across the valley to where the twmp was, looked at the new twmp again. She rubbed her chin and with a furrowed brow said;
“Well, it’s very nice but I think I preferred it when it was over there.”
Strangely enough that was the last anyone ever heard or saw Cartimandua – she simply disappeared. But oddly the pile of stones seemed a little bigger – about the size and shape of a person bigger.
Dubnovellanus, Vercingetarix, Vercassivelaunix and Bernard became great friends and spent the rest of their days throwing stones into the valley from the top of Twm Barlwm.
In fact, they threw so many stones into the valley that in years to come they were used to build Cwmcarn, Pontywaun, Crossskeys and Risca.
But the friends never again touched the pile of stones from the top of the mountain. When asked why, they would try to change the subject, look very guilty and simply say “Because Cartimandua would have liked it that way!”
by David Jandrell

What’s Your Theory?

Has David’s silly tale inspired you? Have you got a pet theory on the origins of Twmbarlwm – real, fantasy or humorous. Then write it down and we’ll publish the best stories in the next Newsletter and put them online too.

Get your kids to help as well – I bet their imagination can come up with some great ideas about who built the Twmp, and why.

If you can illustrate your story too, so much the better.

If we get enough entries we’ll put them all together in one publication to sell and raise funds for the Society.

Submit entries to: twmbarlwmsociety@gmail.com